being a parent is hard

while everyone was taking their sunday naps, i looked through pictures of crew as a baby. it's hard for me to believe that not that long ago, he was an infant. completely helpless. i remember never getting mad at him for anything -- simple because, he was a baby. baby's can do no wrong. now that he's a toddler, i find that i am really struggling.

i used to do the worst things that a parent can do - judge other parents. oh, i'm pretty sure i still do it but now, i get it. {i think this should be illegal by the way.} not that long ago, i felt like i had complete control as a parent and that if i said something, my children would obey. well, that went great until crew hit 18 months and we had another baby. and i know this is totally normal but it literally rocked my world. where did my sweet, perfect baby go? now instead of smiling at me and literally showing me how much he loved me by being obedient, he was defiant and stubborn with everrrrrything.

but i would look at other parents and think -- what is wrong with them? why can't they get their kid under control? it's not the hard. their kid must be spoiled. bla bla bla. i'm pretty sure i should be struck for this. but that's probably why my kids are the way they are now :) what goes around comes around, right?

devin and i have been toying around with the idea of having another baby soon. the more we talk about it, both of us realize this can't happen. i feel like our sanity is so worn thin and our patience is incredibly weak. if we were to throw another baby in the mix, i believe it would be a bad bad thing for our marriage and both of the boys, not to mention a sweet baby (who had better be a girl next ;). how do you parents do it with more than two kids? is it just timing? how? how? how? it baffles me. my hat is off to you. seriously. being a parent is hard stuff.